jackjanderson: (Moon Over Earth)
Day 14 - A song that you would love played at your wedding:

Felix Mendelssohn - "Wedding March" in C major, from his suite of incidental music (Op. 61) to Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream.

It was, in fact, played at both of my weddings. I'm not planning on having another, unless polyamory gets legally recognised and Samantha & I can marry Lucy. And that's not likely to happen in my lifetime

Fanfiction?

May. 9th, 2017 03:36 pm
jackjanderson: (Fishing)
I like to think of myself as being a fairly open-minded guy. I try not to be to judgemental of other lifestyles, considering mine is doubly alternative but I have to admit that every so often I come across something that I simply don't get.

On the internet, recently, I have discovered one of those things.

Fan fiction.

From what I can gather, it appears to be imagining characters from a tv show or movie or even the actors playing them are gay and writing porn about it.

Lucy is quite taken with it at the moment. She assures me it's 'hot'.

On one hand, anything that can get Lucy reading is a great tool. She wants to read and gets very frustrated with herself when her attention span doesn't allow her to.
I also keep meaning to speak to Samantha about reading books vs reading on the screen if it's the format that's helping her concentrate, and would be worth getting Lucy a Kindle?

On the other hand, however, I... don't get it.
jackjanderson: (Moon Over Earth)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, my May the Fourth Star Wars marathon would take up an afternoon. I could start at lunchtime and be done in time for a late evening meal. It was a trilogy - not a whole lot of film watching, maybe just over 7 hours.

Then the prequels happened and so the time taken doubled. That's more of a movie marathon. Now we start to weed out the weak. And of course the last couple of years there's been more increases which is even better.

This year. This year, we actually managed to do the majority of the watching ON the day. I don't work anymore, Samantha doesn't have classes on a Thursday. The rewatch often happens the weekend after the 4th, because of work etc

We started bright and early, 8am with The Phantom Menace. We finished up at 11pm at the end of Empire Strikes Back. We were all tired, and Samantha had class again today.

This evening we finished off with Return Of The Jedi and The Force Awakens.

If there's a better way to spend one day and one evening, I don't know what it is!
jackjanderson: (A Little Piece Of Heaven)
Never let it be said that I do not look after my girls, or that I cannot cook. I admit I'm not the best cook in the world, much prefer to just cook meat on the bbq but this is Wales and I don't get the opportunity to do that as often as I like.

Samantha & Lucy spent the day out at Penrhyn Castle & Parc with the dogs. (I spent the day watching NCIS and Bones, my backs and knees weren't up for a day on my feet and they could do with some time together, they don't get enough) They came back all cold and wet and exhausted - but happy, which is the important thing. The dogs fast asleep in front the shower, the girls have showered and are flopped down on the couch under warm blankets. Aching feet have been rubbed and dinner has been served. I made sweet and sour pork stir-fry which was a hit all round and Lucy suggested I share the recipe.

I don't have a recipe, per se.
I mixed together pineaple juice, cornflour, tomato sauce, soy, sugar and vinegar. I threw some diced pork into a hot wok, cooked it through then set it aside. Fried the red pepper, chopped pineapple and onion, stirred in the sauce, warmed it through, added the pork back in. Served it with rice noodles. I even did the dishes!

I'm about the join them - and the cats - under the blankets and we're going to watch the 2008 Incredible Hulk. I'm not crazy about this version of Hulk, I definitely prefer Ruffalo as Banner but we're doing an MCU rewatch.
jackjanderson: (Moon Over Earth)
I've come to realise as I'm reading blogs that I seem to spend a lot of time feeling the need to apologise for my fellow man, for the way so many men treat women, for the way so many women have been treated by men. It sickens me that there are men who think it's ok to continue making advances on a woman when shes made it clear she's not interested, and more than that.

Am I trying to say that I'm perfect, that I've never undressed a woman with my eyes, that I've never catcalled, that I've never thought of certain more manual labour as a 'mans job'?
No, of course I'm not. I do, however, know where the line is and not to cross it. I was raised by a strong woman and taught to respect women. To respect everyone, lets face it. To be a decent human being.

My son has been raised the same way and if I was to ever find out that he was treating women in a disrepectful manner, if I ever found out he'd broken a woman's consent... well let's just say he may be 30 but he'd still find his hide tanned for it!
(I tried to put a joking 'other than his mother, he can treat her however he pleases' but actually, no, despite my thinking shes an insufferable bitch, if I found out Charlie was treating his mother wrong it would still be the same case!)

I was always aware of the difficulties a woman can face. My wife struggles with gender bias a lot in her chosen fields. There is a colleague of hers who refers to her, even in earshot, as 'the cute blonde' - ok, I'm not going to argue with his assessment because she i but damnit they're supposed to be professionals, they're peers, she has just as many (if not more) qualifications as he does, she's published more, I'd like to say she's better respected.

Samantha says it's professonal jealousy combined with a masculine pride and not wanting to believe a woman could do better than her. I say it's a good job I don't have to see the arrogant fool more than once or twice a year. I'm personally not sure how she hasn't broken his nose yet!

I also understnd that would cause more trouble than it's worth and he'd just label her another emotional woman who can't control or handle herself.

I cannot understand men like him. I cannot understand the behaviour of so many men.

How are we in 2017 and still struggling with the same issues of gender equality?
jackjanderson: (Han Solo)
According to a small child in town today, I am the coolest old person they had ever seen. Possibly even the coolest old person, ever. Old people, you see, don't wear Batman t-shirts. This is what I've learned today.

While I'm pleased as punch to be classed as cool, I'm not sure how I feel at being seen as an 'old person'. Yes, I am old and yes I call myself old. But having someone else call me old is very different to knowing I'm old.
I'm not sure how much sense that makes.

Can I just take the 'cool' and run with it?
No-one's ever actually called me cool and meant it before

Samantha and Lucy, who I was having lunch with at the time, thought it was utterly hilarious. They say that I'm just old and not cool though. One day they'll both turn old, have people think they're old and then we'll see how they feel!
jackjanderson: (Milky Way Blue)
Things Jack learned about himself this last week - he does not like to be alone and gets lonely quite easily.

It's been a weird old week with Lucy at her sister's and Samantha at work. Samantha's gone again today - to bring Lucy home - and they'll be back later this afternoon and I am at a loss of things to do. The house is quiet and empty. I've not enjoyed rattling around it in on my own all week and I don't know how Lucy did it all day, every day.

I ended up spending the latter half of the week out - at the library or at a coffee shop mostly... anywhere where there was human contact to be had. I thought about looking into volunteering opportunities. I may even have snuck into one or two of Samantha's classes.

I always knew I was an extrovert and thrived on the company of other people but I had no idea how miserable it would make me to be on my own. I hope this is not an experience to be repeated anytime soon!
jackjanderson: (Crossword)
It's a little before 6am on a Sunday morning, I'm full of cold, home alone and wide awake. The wide awake is mostly a combination of an empty bed and not breathing - but the home alone/empty bed is no related to having a cold.

Lucy's sister Susan went into labour early, two beautiful girls born late Friday night. Amelia and Olivia (Millie and Vivi). Small but healthy as expected for being born 2 months early. Samantha has taken Lucy to be with them and will be back later this morning.

I'm killing the sleepless hours online and came across this 25 Questions survey. Answering and sharing it seemed like a good idea.

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. Leave them open and it'll cast weird shadows and freak the dog out, or one of the cats will get in there.
2. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Bullet journal layout idea
3. Do you sing in the shower? Yes I do. This morning the girls were very entertained by my rendition of Time To Say Goodbye
4. What inspires you? Passion
5. Would you bungee jump? 'Would'? I have and it was great fun
6. Do you have any pets? We have four right now - two cats and two dogs. Samantha would have horses if she could/we had the land and I know Lucy wants rabbits so this may change
7. What book are you reading? Dan Brown - The Lost Symbol
8. Last book you read? Dan Brown - The Da Vinci Code. Jack re-reads Robert Landgon 2017
9. Are you a sports fan? Yes. I support Manchester City and my local team in football. I also enjoy rugby, ice hockey and formula 1 racing
10. Last Person You Talked To On The Phone? Samantha
11. Favourite foods? Roast beef, yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, parsnip, broccoli, peas, carrots, mustard and gravy.
12. Mountain Hideaway or Beach House? Can I have a place on the beach with the mountains behind it? No? Oh just the beach house then
13. Last thing you listened to? Strauss - The Blue Danube
14. Growing up, which were you favourite cartoons? Oh God. Woody Woodpecker, The Flintstones, Yogi Bear, The Jetsons... I was a big Hanna Barbera fan
15. What are you listening to now? Birdsong from the garden
16. Relationship Status? In a committed poly triad
17. Biggest Fear? Losing my mind
18. Dream destination? I would love to experience Las Vegas
19. Are you in school? If so what are you studying? I'm thinking of taking some online classes in psychology
20. What is your favourite song at the moment? I don't think I have a favourite per se. Bring Him Home from Les Miserables has been rattling around inside my skull recently.
21. Favourite Movie? Star Wars
22. Favourite color? Green.
23. Where do you want to be in 5 years? Alive
24. Batman or superman? Yes.
25. Who is your favourite villain? There's so many good ones to chose from. Darth Vader, The Joker, Hal 9000, Voldemort, Moriarty, Red Skull, Loki, Ra's Al Ghul, Magneto, Lex Luthor...
jackjanderson: (The Long & Winding Road)
I'm realising that one of the topics I'm going to end up talking about most is my girls and our relationship/s with each other. I'm also aware that it's going to be misunderstood, misinterpreted so I'm going to come straight out and discuss it.

I have a wife and we have a girlfriend. And believe me, Lucy is very much Samantha's girlfriend as much as she is mine. We are all three in a relationship together.

We are polyamorous.

Polyamory, as defined by the dictionary is the practice or condition of participating simultaneously in more than one serious romantic or sexual relationship with the knowledge and consent of all partners..

What we are not is swingers or cheats. No-one is fucking anyone else behind anyone else's back. We aren't inviting random people into our bed all the time. We are all in a committed relationship, no different to any straight, monogamous couple. It's just that there's three of us.

Polyfidelty is another term for what we have. We're a triad, if you will. A delta.

It's not something that was planned. It's not something either Samantha or I were aware of being or of having any interest in. As my son asked, it's not the reason I got divorced from his mother. It kind of just happened.

Samantha and I have have been in a relationship since 1999, and we have been married since 2004. Lucy and I met in May of 2010. We had sexual bdsm relationship for a couple of months1. She knew I was a married. Samantha watched a number of times and joined in. A few months later, Samantha confessed to me that she was developing feelings for Lucy - and I was incredibly relieved because I felt the same way. We sat down and talked about it, just the two of us and then with Lucy. 6 months later, Lucy moved in with us.

It's not easy. Like any relationship, hell like anything worth having, it takes work. We're still discovering new ways in which we work together. For example, since I retired, Samantha has admitted she's jealous of the amount of time I'm spending with Lucy (Lucy does not work for a number of reasons and so we're both home all the time) so I'm aware we need to spend more time together as a couple. We haven't worked out the finer points yet, still a work in progress. But it's a new situation so we're growing and learning into it and from it




1 the BDSM aspect of our relationship is something I'm planning on writing a post about as well.
jackjanderson: (Default)
Things are about to get very tense in this house. The rugby starts soon. England vs Wales. Samantha is Welsh and a Wales fan. I support England... there is no way in which this is going to play out well!
jackjanderson: (Crossword)
Thank you everyone for your tips and advice on my last post. I definitely found it helpful, and if anything it just reaffirmed what I already suspected.

Write from the heart, write about what I want to write about, write about whatever is in my head, write about what interests me, write about what makes me happy, write about my life.

So what does that mean? what interests me and makes me happy?

My wife and girlfriend. Polyamory. My son. Books I read, music I listen to, movies/tv I watch. Science fiction. Superheroes (Marvel and DC). Football. Fishing. Gardening. Astronomy. BDSM.

I'm not completely sure how any of these are going to translate into posts but I've also been told to not think so hard about, just 'put pen to paper' and 'dont expect perfection on page 1'

All food for thought and I'm interested to see how it all plays out

I have however been working on the title for this thing. Instead of being a bland Jack's Journal, I've now got a name of Flying To The Stars:Adventures in Space, Time, Polyamory, and Fishing which I really do like. I've also got a layout that I'm much happier with.

One step at a time. Perfect won't happen on page 1.
jackjanderson: (Fishing)
I'm pleased to report that I remain an utter embarassment to my son. I feel this cements the fact I'm doing an excellent job as a parent. Today he told me, with all the wisdom he has garnered from his 29 years on this planet that I need to 'grow up' and 'start acting my age'. He didn't seem all that impressed when my response was that I'd never been 64 before now and had no idea how I was supposed to act.

Apparently, I'm too old to be watching 'silly' superhero and science-fiction movies - we were watching X-Men when he dropped in for an unexpected, unannounced visit.
Please I was watching Star Trek and Doctor Who the first time around, and reading Marvel and DC comics in the 1960s. I was a geek before it was 'cool' and the current revival is only making my love grow. You'll be prying my Captain America action figure from my cold dead hands. Actually, scratch that, he'll be coming in the coffin with me.

I'm also too old to be reading a kids book about space.
I'd just finished reading The Planets - a DK Publishing book about, well, the planets. Absolutely fascinating book, and it's made me want to know more about NASA's Solar & Heliospheric Observatory

I'm also too old to be blogging or playing Candy Crush Saga - because God forbid I find new ways to spend my day, find new hobbies to entertain myself with.

I do though have suitably 'old person' interests and should only fill my time with crosswords, chess, gardening, fishing and listening to classical music.

I probably shouldn't tell him I'm thinking of going back to school....


(Please don't take any of this the wrong way. I have a really good relationship wiht my son and he's very much like I was at that age. I'm mostly just amused that he believes people's personalities and interests are dictated by how old they are!)
jackjanderson: (Black Canary)
As much as I like to try and stay young at heart, every once in a while my body decides to remind me of my ever-increasing age. Today is one of those days where my knees and back are quite loudly pointing out that I am in my 60s and have injuried myself numerous times over the last few decades.

I have spent much time today enjoying the relief brought to me by various analgesics and strategically placed hot and cold packs. My day has been mostly spent on the couch, with my legs up, a cat on my lap and my dog at my feet. Samantha and Lucy have been alternately curled up with me and caring for their old man. There was also some napping and some adult activities.

I've been reading 1984, playing Candy Crush Saga, listening to the Top Classical playlist on Spotify (50 best classical recordings from today's leading performers, including 2016 Grammy nominees) and watching season 1 of Bones. It's not a show that Lucy's a fan of but Samantha is a big fan of the 'here's a dead body, lets solve the case' type stories and I love detective.

Normally all of that would add up to the perfect rainy Satuday afternoon. But. Days like this when I'm feeling every single one of my years I start to wonder why my beautiful girls are with an old man like me. They're both younger than me and I can't help but think one day they'll wake up and realise I'm not in my 40s like I used to be. I've mentioned it before and Samantha always says she's not in her 30s any more either but I still think she's beautiful, which she is and I do. And then she smacks me and tells me to stop being so stupid.

And so I do.
jackjanderson: (The Brothers Winchester)
Names are funny things. It's the first thing we tell anyone about ourselves but in reality reveals absolutely nothing about us. And yet it used to be believed that the knowledge of someone's name gave you power over them

Take my name, for example. My name is Jonathan but what does it actually mean? 'God is gracious' or 'gift of Jehovah' depending on who you ask. It's the name given to me but it's very rarely used. It's on all official documentation of course but the only person who ever called me Jonathan was my mother - or Jonathan James if I was in trouble. My father called me John, and my elder brother called me JJ - and he's the only person ever to call me that.

Most people know me as Jack. To my son, I'm Dad. According to my nephew, I'm 'Unca Ack'. My wife calls me sweetheart. My girlfriend calls me 'My J'. My ex usually refers to me as 'that fucking bastard'. There's my service buddies who still call me Commander.

I'm Jack.
But I'm more than that. I'm a father, a son, a brother and an uncle. I'm a husband, a boyfriend, a Dominant and a submissive.

It's our connections to people, our relationships, our identities, our... titles for lack of a better word, who define who we are much more than just a simple identifier like our name.
jackjanderson: (Default)
Hi, Hello, Bonjour, Guten Tag, Hola, Ciao.

Welcome to my new website, to my blog, my journal. I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing here other than talking a bunch of utter nonsense. I'm at the stage of trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing here and how things work. The website equivalent of kicking the tyres or giving the place a fresh lick of paint, if you will.

I'm Jack.
My name possibly isn't the most help though as it doesn't tell you who I am. And who am I? Well, that is the question, isn't it?

I am a recent retiree looking for a new hobby. Apparently 'annoying my girlfriend' isn't the best use of my days. Her opinion, not mine. I'm a life-long fan of science-fiction and superheroes - both Marvel and DC. I'm a voracious reader and a movie buff. I enjoy fishing, gardening and astronomy. My favourite food is roast beef. I love to fly. I'm a father and a son. I'm a husband and a boyfriend - and an ex. I have two cats and two dogs. I can't swim. I wish I could type faster.

That is possibly enough as just an opening gambit.

Love to all
Jack
xx

About Me

I'm Jack, a recent retiree looking for a new hobby. Apparently 'annoying my girlfriend' isn't the best use of my days. Her opinion, not mine

I'm a life-long science-fiction and superheroes fan, and a voracious reader. I enjoy movies, fishing, astronomy, and gardening.

I live in Wales with my wife, our girlfriend and an ever growing collection of four-legged friends.

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