A fine line between pleasure and pain
Oct. 9th, 2017 10:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackjandersonI've never kept a secret of the fact that there is a BDSM aspect of the relationship between Samantha, Lucy and I. It's how we met Lucy in the first place. But I've never sat down and talked about it with you.
A lot of people have preconceived notions of what that means, of how our relationships work, about the kind of sex we have, about the types of things we enjoy - and maybe you do too. The truth is it's also probably nothing like what you're imagining. I'm not entirely sure how much sense this is going to make but I'm going to try and shed a light on some of this.
Samantha is a Dominant. I'm a switch. Lucy is a submissive. Some of our roles are automatically defined by these preferences. As a switch, I enjoy both submitting to Samantha and dominating Lucy. I would say I'm probably more submissive than I am Dominant, about 75%. But when those Dominant urges come out, we have a lot of fun. So sometimes Lucy and I are both submitting to Samantha, sometimes Lucy is submitting to Samantha and I, sometimes it's a complicated game where I'm submitting to Samantha and and dominating Lucy. There are also times when it's just me and Samantha, or me and Lucy or Samantha and Lucy. It varies. All possible combinations.
It's mostly kept to the playroom or the bedroom or... ok, it's mostly sexual - we don't have a 24/7 relationship although there are some overspills. Samantha works and Lucy and I don't so we have certain tasks/chores around the house that we're expected to complete on a daily/weekly basis - it's only fair and yes we get punished (or rewarded) as applicable. But mostly, it's purely a fun thing.
I like pain. I love being on the receiving end of it and I get a kick of out dishing it out. It's my main kink. I thoroughly enjoy a good spanking, or a paddling, or a caning, or a riding crop. I love seeing the colours on my ass. I love seeing the colours blooming on Lucy's. Samantha is the first woman who's truly been able to give me the level I crave, she understands that it's... something I enjoy sexually. And she knows how to make the difference between fun, discipline and punishment - it's a trick to make something you enjoy still be a punishment.
Both her and Lucy enjoy a certain level but will always indulge me
I love being able to switch off, not think, just obey and trust my Dominant. To know she's not going to do anything to me I don't know, that she's not going to hurt me and that she's always got me. Being able to give that level of trust to another person, to me, runs so deep. And to have Lucy put that in me, and in Samantha, is truly humbling.
I enjoy being tied up - to an extent. I cannot have anything covering my face. I hate sensory deprivation, being blindfolded or gagged can freak me out. I can keep my eyes closed, I can keep quiet when instructed but add anything to that and it will ruin it for me.
Lucy is the complete opposite. It's one of her biggest turn ons. She loves big gags, loves being hooded. Loves a body sack. I can see how much she enjoys and I can be complicit in giving it to her but it still makes me a little uncomfortable.
Samantha thoroughly enjoys control over our orgasms - forced orgasms, orgasm denial, ruined orgasms. That's her current favourite. I can confirm that I thoroughly enjoy... I'm not a fan of being forced to orgasm or to have multiple orgasms teased out of me but I DO enjoy doing it to Lucy. A tease and deny session, being kept on the edge, keeping Lucy on the edge is great fun.
Samantha is also really into sensation play, bondage, spanking, lingerie, a little humiliation... ♥
We've been having fun lately exploring predicament or stress bondage. More so with Lucy in the bondage - although finding positions that I can cope with is also a lot of fun.
Also, possibly shockingly, we also thoroughly enjoy plain old vanilla sex. We probably have vanilla more so than we do BDSM sex.
I don't know if that does really explain or clarify things but it's something I've been wanting to write about for a while. It's a pretty important part of who I am, who we are, how we work and our relationships so it felt important to blog about it.
I'm also thinking about maybe - if I can figure out these custom access lists and anyone would be interested in hearing about it - writing about some of our adventures.
A lot of people have preconceived notions of what that means, of how our relationships work, about the kind of sex we have, about the types of things we enjoy - and maybe you do too. The truth is it's also probably nothing like what you're imagining. I'm not entirely sure how much sense this is going to make but I'm going to try and shed a light on some of this.
Samantha is a Dominant. I'm a switch. Lucy is a submissive. Some of our roles are automatically defined by these preferences. As a switch, I enjoy both submitting to Samantha and dominating Lucy. I would say I'm probably more submissive than I am Dominant, about 75%. But when those Dominant urges come out, we have a lot of fun. So sometimes Lucy and I are both submitting to Samantha, sometimes Lucy is submitting to Samantha and I, sometimes it's a complicated game where I'm submitting to Samantha and and dominating Lucy. There are also times when it's just me and Samantha, or me and Lucy or Samantha and Lucy. It varies. All possible combinations.
It's mostly kept to the playroom or the bedroom or... ok, it's mostly sexual - we don't have a 24/7 relationship although there are some overspills. Samantha works and Lucy and I don't so we have certain tasks/chores around the house that we're expected to complete on a daily/weekly basis - it's only fair and yes we get punished (or rewarded) as applicable. But mostly, it's purely a fun thing.
I like pain. I love being on the receiving end of it and I get a kick of out dishing it out. It's my main kink. I thoroughly enjoy a good spanking, or a paddling, or a caning, or a riding crop. I love seeing the colours on my ass. I love seeing the colours blooming on Lucy's. Samantha is the first woman who's truly been able to give me the level I crave, she understands that it's... something I enjoy sexually. And she knows how to make the difference between fun, discipline and punishment - it's a trick to make something you enjoy still be a punishment.
Both her and Lucy enjoy a certain level but will always indulge me
I love being able to switch off, not think, just obey and trust my Dominant. To know she's not going to do anything to me I don't know, that she's not going to hurt me and that she's always got me. Being able to give that level of trust to another person, to me, runs so deep. And to have Lucy put that in me, and in Samantha, is truly humbling.
I enjoy being tied up - to an extent. I cannot have anything covering my face. I hate sensory deprivation, being blindfolded or gagged can freak me out. I can keep my eyes closed, I can keep quiet when instructed but add anything to that and it will ruin it for me.
Lucy is the complete opposite. It's one of her biggest turn ons. She loves big gags, loves being hooded. Loves a body sack. I can see how much she enjoys and I can be complicit in giving it to her but it still makes me a little uncomfortable.
Samantha thoroughly enjoys control over our orgasms - forced orgasms, orgasm denial, ruined orgasms. That's her current favourite. I can confirm that I thoroughly enjoy... I'm not a fan of being forced to orgasm or to have multiple orgasms teased out of me but I DO enjoy doing it to Lucy. A tease and deny session, being kept on the edge, keeping Lucy on the edge is great fun.
Samantha is also really into sensation play, bondage, spanking, lingerie, a little humiliation... ♥
We've been having fun lately exploring predicament or stress bondage. More so with Lucy in the bondage - although finding positions that I can cope with is also a lot of fun.
Also, possibly shockingly, we also thoroughly enjoy plain old vanilla sex. We probably have vanilla more so than we do BDSM sex.
I don't know if that does really explain or clarify things but it's something I've been wanting to write about for a while. It's a pretty important part of who I am, who we are, how we work and our relationships so it felt important to blog about it.
I'm also thinking about maybe - if I can figure out these custom access lists and anyone would be interested in hearing about it - writing about some of our adventures.
