Flying To The Stars

I managed two days on that 30 day challenge then lapsed. It's not a good start, is it? Although, well, somewhat extenuating circumstances courtesy of My Lady Samantha

While we're not technically in a 24/7-type relationship, over the last month or so while Samantha has been off and her health on the mend, things have been moving a little more in that direction. I'm certainly not complaining, it's a lot of fun but I do need to make sure if we keep making these steps, that we sit down and talk about it, set guidelines and boundaries rather than just falling into it the way we seem to be. For example, when do I get to express my dominant side? But the details are not especially relevant for this post, just the fact that it seems to be happening.

I have been spending maybe a little too much time on my tablet in the last week. I'm not sure how I ended up playing it, but I've got a little addicted to a 'magical farming' game called Decurse. We have a strict no electronics in the bedroom rule and I maybe tried to play the game in bed the other evening (I had crops to harvest). That earned me a thorough not-fun spanking. And it gets worse. Yesterday morning when Samantha & I were getting ready to head to the supermarket, I ignored her while playing my game. She took the tablet off me and ( what happened next is under the cut to spare those who don't want to read it )

I'm only allowed my tablet for an hour a day for the rest of the week and I've definitely learned my lesson about ignoring Samantha. She's not sure yet if she's going to let me watch the Man City Vs Leicester game tonight or not.

Speaking of football, Manchester City won the 2019 FA Women's Cup on Saturday with a 3-0 win over West Ham. Another match I wasn't allowed to watch. I wish I was more excited, I love Manchester City and women's football is grossly under-represented - and as a straight man I should thoroughly enjoy watching women play? But it doesn't. I support them, of course, and the juniors - the games just don't excite me the way the A team does.

Now, on to that already-neglected 30 day meme

Day 3 - Your views on drugs and alcohol
Like most things, they're both fine in moderation. I love a good beer and I do enjoy both smoking weed and edibles. I don't like being drunk or feeling like I'm not in control, I like the nice buzz from them though - both very pleasurable

Day 4 - Your views on religion
I'm a lapsed Catholic. I grew up in the church - Sunday school, altar boy, the works. I still believe in God but not in the strict formalness of Catholicism and there's so much of the teachings I disagree with (and I lot I still try to live by). I attend church on the main holidays but don't necessarily feel welcomed due to my family situation

A couple of unrelated points:

I'm sick. I've got some kind of virus, started coming down with it last night - temperature, congestion, coughing, sneezing and very little throat. No appetite and all my old bones are aching. Probably only a bad cold but it's a doozy of one. Today has most been spent curled up on the couch, watching Star Trek on Netflix and doing crosswords on my tablet.

I do not like my twitter name. It's currently flyingtojack. jackjanderson has already been taken which is annoying because that would be my preference. So, my question, as I'm pondering this, is: how do you choose your social media handles?

I mentioned in my last post that Samantha has been 'suggesting' that Lucy & I start blogging again. With Lucy, it's become less of a suggestion and more of a demand so I suspect Lucy will also start updating her journal again. It helps with her mental health, gives her an outlet and she enjoys being able to talk to people about fandom things. I know I do enjoy blogging when I'm doing it but always struggle to think of things to post so I went onto the Pinterest and found one of those 30 day writing challenges. I was going to answer the first one in this post but honestly feel like I'm about to go back to sleep, so maybe later

Sometimes when I'm futzing around on the internet, my heart breaks at how many people seem to hate themselves. Everyone seems to put themselves down - they think they're too short, too fat, too skinny, they don't have the 'right look'. Even my beautiful Samantha was berating herself the other day for turning grey - which I think just makes her look even more sensational.

It makes no sense - she calls me her 'silver fox' and told me that when I started turning salt and pepper that it was sexy and made me look distinguished. But apparently when a woman goes grey it means she's 'let herself go'

Fucking ridiculous.

It turned into a wonderful conversation though about the things we love about each other, and the things we love about ourselves. And what, I hear you asking, do I love about myself?

My optimism. I love that I see the best in people. I look for the good in everyone and in life.

My hair. Sure it's grey but I've still got a full head of thick hair.

My geekiness. I was a geek for decades before it was cool, always loved science-fiction and superheroes.

My sense of humor. Sometimes it's a bit dark but for the most part I love to make people laugh and try not to take things too seriously. See point one.

My chosen family. Samantha and Lucy. My son. The older I get, the more I appreciate them, the more I love them. They are mine. And they like me the way I am.

So now let me turn it around to you and try spread some joy and love around - what do you love about yourself?

Samantha and Lucy have been all about self-care lately - massages, spa days, yoga, meditation, guided relaxations... that kind of thing. It made me stop and think about what self-care means to me.

It doesn't mean any of that to me. Although I'm not going to turn down a good massage.

To me, it's more about making time for me in my daily life. It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day stuff, in the routines of life, in the things that are important to be done. It's about taking the time to stop, put some music on, a mug of coffee and a good book or going out for a meal and a movie with my girls. Sometimes, it's bigger and it's going fishing for the weekend, going to a football match.

I definitely feel better when I take time to connect with people - with Samantha and Lucy, with my son, with my friends. My relationships with the people in my life are important to me so it seems just as important to make sure they're healthy as well.

As I get older, it's important to me to take care of my physical health. I have a number of old injuries that need to be cared for properly. It's been a long, slow, process but I am learning that if my back or my knees start to hurt, I need to stop what I'm doing and care for them - whether that's taking a little break, some gentle stretching, applying heat or ice, or taking painkillers. Sometimes it can mean a massage or a trip to a chiropractor but it's about knowing my body and what I need to do for in that moment.

Hello Dreamwidth. If there's anyone still out there, how are you? I've not even been on the computer in a while but over the last few days I've found myself wondering about the lives of the peoples who's blogs I would read, who let me into their lives only for me to disappear.

If you recall, we were having some struggles towards the end of last year and the beginning of this but everything has smoothed itself down. We're fully settled into our new house, all injuries have healed, routines have re-established. Samantha is thriving in her job. Lucy is coming back out of herself again, settling down and making friends.

Things are good and it feels amazing to be able to say that.

I'm settled down in my favourite chair, mug of coffee and some music playing. Samantha is in her office. Lucy is in the other room doing the march set up in the her bullet journal.

My current plan for today is:
Catch up on emails
Catch up on the blogs I read
Update sites like trakt/goodreads with books read and movies watched so far this year
Figure out what I'm going to do with this blog.

I've never kept a secret of the fact that there is a BDSM aspect of the relationship between Samantha, Lucy and I. It's how we met Lucy in the first place. But I've never sat down and talked about it with you.

A lot of people have preconceived notions of what that means, of how our relationships work, about the kind of sex we have, about the types of things we enjoy - and maybe you do too. The truth is it's also probably nothing like what you're imagining. I'm not entirely sure how much sense this is going to make but I'm going to try and shed a light on some of this.( behind this cut to spare those who aren't interested )

I don't know if that does really explain or clarify things but it's something I've been wanting to write about for a while. It's a pretty important part of who I am, who we are, how we work and our relationships so it felt important to blog about it.

I'm also thinking about maybe - if I can figure out these custom access lists and anyone would be interested in hearing about it - writing about some of our adventures.

Things are looking good for the house move. All the paperwork has completed, we've sold our house and we're still on track for moving into the new house on the 26th. I'm a little sick of living in boxtown and not being able to find anything - although we've all three had the chance to have a really good clear out. We're not down sizing but sometimes it's good to out with the old, in with the new.

I'm definitely looking forward to some decorating and gardening and putting our mark on the new place.

Speaking of things for moving, we've found Lucy a new therapist down there - recommended by her current one. We've met a few times and they seem to get on, and she seems LGBT and poly friendly so that's always a relief. Lucy's also got a yoga class sorted and is looking at the various support groups that are available to her. She's definitely stressed and struggling with her mental health but nowhere near as bad as I was dreading. I wish I could help her more. *sigh emoji*

Samantha's leg is healing well. She's got the cast off and now just has a very cumbersome plastic boot on the foot. Shes still walking on crutches and bitching about physios being evil sadistic bastards so I think she'll be just fine!

Tomorrow, incidentally, is my and Samantha's 13th wedding anniversary ♥
She's up to something. I know her well enough to know she's got something planned. She won't tell me. Neither will Lucy.

So yes. Things continue to tick over nicely in Casa Anderson which is always nice to be able to say. Now, we head to the local cinema to see The Dark Tower.

Day 17 - A song that you would sing as a duet on karaoke:
There's a very easy answer to this question and that is n/a - I don't sing, I don't karaoke.
Samantha and Lucy, on the other hand, have been known to do a very loud and out of key rendition of Eurythmics & Aretha Franklin - Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves


Day 18 - A song from the year you were born:

I had to have a quick google to answer this and the answer is Blue Tango by Leroy Anderson "Pops" Concert Orchestra which I have vague memories of hearing as a small child.

Day 15 - A song that is a cover by another artist:



2Cellos's arrangement of Thunderstruck by AC/DC
Lucy introduced me to 2Cellos earlier this year and their 'duelling cellos' are nearly as much fun to listen to as they are to watch.

This was a hard one to pick a song for. Technically, the majority of classical music are cover versions since we're not sitting listening to the original composer, but other (usually)incredibly skilled musicians playing their pieces.

Day 14 - A song that you would love played at your wedding:

Felix Mendelssohn - "Wedding March" in C major, from his suite of incidental music (Op. 61) to Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream.

It was, in fact, played at both of my weddings. I'm not planning on having another, unless polyamory gets legally recognised and Samantha & I can marry Lucy. And that's not likely to happen in my lifetime