Dirty Old Man

[jackjanderson]

The internet, blogging spaces especially, make me feel like a dirty old man. We're going to completely ignore the fact that I am a dirty old man and focus on how young everyone else online seems to be.

I come across random blogs, start reading only to realise that the writer is in their 20s or 30s. I've joined 2017revival and addme and all the posts seem to be from younger ladies. I feel hesitant to start a conversation, to request to add them because I don't know how they'd feel about a... (and I use the term loosely) more mature man reading their posts.

I try to imagine how I would feel if the situation was reversed; if I were that age and found out that someone old enough to be my father were wanting to read my blog. I think I'd feel quite awkward. I doubt I'd be interested in reading what they had to say.

Do I necessarily feel comfortable reading posts by someone young enough to be my son - if not younger than him. Am I opening myself up for completely inaccurate accusations of inappropriateness?

I did an interest search for over 60s but it was unsuccessful. I did a google search for 'over 60s blogs' and learned a hell of a lot about how to dress as a woman over 60 which I'm sure would be really useful were I of the female persuasion. I offered to send the links to an amused Samantha* and she shot me a look that would make a lesser person drop down dead.

Then again, does age really matter? Isn't this whole thing about getting to meet people that I wouldn't normally meet. Doesn't science-fiction etc transcend barriers of age, gender, race, sexuality etc.

Or is my son right and I am 'too old' for this?

^{* Samantha is still many years from 60}

Comments

[angelofthenorth]

There have been a few people on my list in their forties and fifties and even sixties. It doesn't bother me.

[kaiceph]

You're not too old at all! I guess you didn't find many communities for older people because older people tend to use less the internet (with my father being an exception because he is on his computer all day long), so they might not know of sites like Dreamwidth or LiveJournal. I, for one, don't care about age difference and you're more than welcome to read my posts!

[cosmolinguist]

I'm lucky that my real-life friends circle includes people from their 20s to their 60s. (I'm 35 myself.) Including some friends who are the parents/children of other friends. :) I tend to have more in common with people older than me, always have from when I was a teenager.

I'm sorry you're not finding more of your own age cohort (and gender as well, blogging does tend to be more of a female thing for whatever reason). But at least be assured we don't all find it awkward. :)

[sparkythegeek]

That's how I feel with Tumblr! Oh man, they're all teenagers. :o

As for me, I've always related better to adults a generation or so older than me, so it would feel perfectly normal to have journaling pals who are similarly older.

[gwendraith]

Age is just a number ;) I do get where you are coming from, though. Maybe it's different being an older man online to being an older woman? I don't really know. I have made friends with both younger and older peeps over the years, male and female, and do think that once you've commented a few times people just accept you for who you are not how old you are.

[ahavah]

I'm mid-30s, and I've never felt inappropriate with anyone over 18 reading my blog. I even had a sex blog, full disclosure, and my friends' ages never bothered me in the least. Once we're all adults, it really ceases to matter.

[redbird]

I'm older than quite a few of my online friends, but it doesn't seem to be an issue. I don't know if that's a gender difference, or self-selection: I found a lot of those people in places where it was less "I'm looking for new readers" than shared interested and/or online reflection of older communities. (My "home" in that sense, or maybe origin story, is Usenet: rec.arts.sf.fandom and alt.polyamory.) One of the people I follow here, and originally met in person through science fiction fandom, is literally old enough to be my father, and that's not an issue, nor was when we were both three decades younger.

So: I'm I think eight years younger than you (and that much older than one of my partners), and am leaving this comment on the assumption that referring to yourself as a "dirty old man" is self-deprecation and not a warning.

If calling yourself that is just a joke, wander over to my journal and take a look. Ditto if by "dirty old man" you just mean that you're a man over age 60 and still have sexual feelings toward your partners, rather than that you ogle strangers or grope people who haven't clearly consented to that. (The latter is inappropriate at any age, and men don't get a pass from me because they're old enough to pretend not to know better.)

[jackjanderson]

I definitely mean Dirty Old Man in the I'm 'a man over age 60 and still have sexual feelings toward your partners' kind of sense. I would never ogle or grope people who havent' consented - my parents brought me up better than that.

I'm slowly getting more used to the wide range in my new online friends and I'm realising that no, it was only me and that no-one else seems to care about age (in the same way that they don't care about gender or sexuality or seemingly anything else) which is wonderfully refreshing.

[tjoel2]

I don't think age matters. I have a huge range of people on DW that I am connected with. I'm 48 by the way. :)